About Me

SHIT HAPPENS
Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List

· Taoism: Shit happens.
· Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit happens.”
· Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
· Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
· Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
· Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
· Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
· Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
· Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
· Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
· Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
· Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
· Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
· Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
· Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
· Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
· Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
· Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. Amen!
· Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
· Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
· Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
· Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
· Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
· Creationism: God made all shit.
· Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
· Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
· Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
· Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
· Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
· Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
· Darwinism: This shit was once food.
· Capitalism: That's MY shit.
· Communism: It's everybody's shit.
· Feminism: Men are shit.
· Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
· Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
· Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
· Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
· Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
· Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
· Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
· Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
· Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
· Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
· Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
· Scientology: If shit happens, see “Dianetics”, p.157.
· Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock < >Knock < Shit happens.
· Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
· Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
· Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
· Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
· Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
· Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
· Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
· Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
· Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
· Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
· Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
· Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
· Atheism: What shit?
· Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
· Nihilism: No shit.
· And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!